16 more reasons for Americans to root against us at the Winter Olympics

16 more reasons for Americans to root against us at the Winter Olympics

By Asif Hossain

Last week BuzzFeed came up with 16 Reasons To Root Against The Evil Canadians At The Winter Olympics. Predictably, it made the rounds on The Internets. What can we say, with a population 10 times smaller than our southern neighbours, Canadians do get excited when given U.S. pop culture credit – even sadly, on BuzzFeed.  Sorry.

Allow us to rebut.

1. Molson makes great beers. Also synonymous with Canada are large reservoirs of water, or as Americans call it, beer.

Photo by Jeff W Booktree on WikiCommons.

Photo by Jeff W Booktree on WikiCommons

2. In 2010 we set a record for most gold medals at the Olympic Winter Games. Arrogant? No. That was just a warm-up.

Skeleton

3. Mocking us for being cold, BuzzFeed? Your country made the Snuggie. Don’t even.


4. We may have strict rules for alcohol service, but on the Friday of their Thanksgiving they do this sober.


5. Our maple syrup is both delicious and entertaining. 

Segel

6. Our history? Sometimes we show this in Canadian classrooms and laugh.


7. The BuzzFeed author has a problem with Sidney Crosby’s face. Here it is celebrating beating the U.S. in hockey.

Sidney Crosby

8. The author finds our public signs to be mean and sarcastic. We should’ve hired this guy.

Photo: perfectduluthday.com

Photo: perfectduluthday.com

9. U.S. still uses the British measurement system. We don’t even use it and we’re technically British. The Queen 1 America 0.

Photo: The Canadian Press

Photo: The Canadian Press

10. Hey guy, “re” not “er.” Centre. Theatre. You’ll use British measurement but not its spelling. Inconsistent, like your curling (no, we’re not above trash talking about curling).

USCurling1

11. We gave you the man who created the soulful Robin Thicke. You gave the world the person to his right. 

Photo: Independent.co.uk

Photo: Independent.co.uk

12. Our curlers have won a medal at every Olympic Winter Games. They’re not being smug, that’s just what winning looks like (see the opposite at no. 10).

Photo: The Canadian Press

Photo: The Canadian Press

13. Unlike your Breaking Bad, our bad ass characters aren’t fictional and some of them are Olympic champions. 

Ross Rebagliati

In 1998, Ross Rebagliati briefly had his Olympic gold medal stripped for having THC in his system. It was returned.

14. Of course polar bears prefer Canada. You know what bears say, if you can make it in Winnipeg… 


15. A “bunnyhug” goes well with a toque, not a “hat.” I repeat, Jesse Lumsden is not pointing at a “hat.” 

Toque

16. America gave the world this:

Photo: people.com

Photo: people.com

See also: Mittens showdown – Red v. Blue

 

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By Asif Hossain

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