Last week BuzzFeed came up with 16 Reasons To Root Against The Evil Canadians At The Winter Olympics. Predictably, it made the rounds on The Internets. What can we say, with a population 10 times smaller than our southern neighbours, Canadians do get excited when given U.S. pop culture credit – even sadly, on BuzzFeed. Sorry.
Allow us to rebut.
1. Molson makes great beers. Also synonymous with Canada are large reservoirs of water, or as Americans call it, beer.
2. In 2010 we set a record for most gold medals at the Olympic Winter Games. Arrogant? No. That was just a warm-up.
3. Mocking us for being cold, BuzzFeed? Your country made the Snuggie. Don’t even.
4. We may have strict rules for alcohol service, but on the Friday of their Thanksgiving they do this sober.
5. Our maple syrup is both delicious and entertaining.
6. Our history? Sometimes we show this in Canadian classrooms and laugh.
7. The BuzzFeed author has a problem with Sidney Crosby’s face. Here it is celebrating beating the U.S. in hockey.
8. The author finds our public signs to be mean and sarcastic. We should’ve hired this guy.
9. U.S. still uses the British measurement system. We don’t even use it and we’re technically British. The Queen 1 America 0.
10. Hey guy, “re” not “er.” Centre. Theatre. You’ll use British measurement but not its spelling. Inconsistent, like your curling (no, we’re not above trash talking about curling).
11. We gave you the man who created the soulful Robin Thicke. You gave the world the person to his right.
12. Our curlers have won a medal at every Olympic Winter Games. They’re not being smug, that’s just what winning looks like (see the opposite at no. 10).
13. Unlike your Breaking Bad, our bad ass characters aren’t fictional and some of them are Olympic champions.
14. Of course polar bears prefer Canada. You know what bears say, if you can make it in Winnipeg…
15. A “bunnyhug” goes well with a toque, not a “hat.” I repeat, Jesse Lumsden is not pointing at a “hat.”
16. America gave the world this:
See also: Mittens showdown – Red v. Blue